I'm starting a new job.
I will begin as the Associate for Communications and Grants at Listening Hearts Ministries as soon as I hire a babysitter for the 15 hours a week I will dedicate to this work. The extraordinary people at Listening Hearts have responded to my concerns about balancing work with my desire to be present for my children, and we have come up with an ideal schedule. It is hard to imagine a more family-friendly, flexible and encouraging new employer. It is hard to imagine finding a 15 hr/week job doing meaningful and creative work!
And so I feel very lucky, and very excited to begin. And yet. There is the whole babysitter thing.
By the end of this week I will have spent far too much time on Care.com, reviewing profiles of prospective nannies. I will have emailed scores of young women interested in taking care of my children. I will have interviewed six of them. I will have visited two preschools, with one more to go.
This happens to be a demanding time in the semester when Mike is completely occupied by his school duties, and it won't come to an end until his spring break begins in another week. And so I have been mostly on my own, swimming in possible futures for Frances and Gabriel, feeling very unsteady in all this. We had thought that sending Gabriel to a toddler program in a preschool that offers extended care would be ideal for the fall. Hence all the school visits. But can we find the right school? And afford it? And get into it? And can we find someone excellent to care for him and Frances who won't mind the job ending in August?
And afford a second car this fall, in order to somehow orchestrate the four of us simultaneously working and learning in four different places, busily pursuing our projects in four separate little dots on the sprawling map?
This is what we do in America, right? Everyone heads out the door, each in his or her own direction, each with a cell phone in hand, and hopefully we reconvene back at home at some point, before it gets too dark outside. But not us, right? Of course we are not confronting anything quite like this, but suddenly the slope appears rather slippery.
We value simplicity in everyday life, and things are about to get more complicated. Despite the utterly ideal work situation before me, compromises - sigh! - are inevitable.
Perhaps you have some firsthand experience with some of the things I describe here. Comments, as ever, are welcome. Tell us about it.
5 comments:
Oh yes Meagan....have been there. AM still there. It is ongoing in our house. With you in still trying to find a happy balance. :)
Well, one suggestion is: a scooter! Instead of a second car. My cousins do this. The person who doesn't drive children around, who only goes back and forth to work, takes a scooter, and the car remains the family vehicle.
Because it is only 15 hours, you won't be so overwhelmed and pulled apart, and I think you'll soon develop a grooved routine and it won't seem so daunting. Really!
Congratulations on your job. For me, working 10 to 15 hours a week allows me to feel like a stay at home mom most of the time while reaping the benefits of working. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to line up high quality child care, which really is all you can do. Will your new employer let you work from home at least some of the time? That might ease some of your commuting burden.
Meagan! How is it possible that every post that you write manages to bring me to tears?!?!? MY eyes are puffy red! you are a beautiful mother, wife, friend....!
I'm so happy to hear that you are starting a job at what sounds like a wonderful place. I think you will love it, and they are so lucky to have you.
I've found that the compromises we make in working can sometimes bring about exciting, unexpected and fun results: no time to cook dinner? Family pizza night (with beer!) at our favorite Pizza place; No car to pick up the kids?: A reminder that walking through the knee deep snow with 2 kids and a stroller is, in fact, possible and you just might get into a snowball fight which is actually very fun; Family going in 4 different directions?: A chance to meet 4 different groups of interesting people and see how they are all managine to work it out.
I often worry about creating a perfect world around my kids, then when it doesn't work out, I get stressed and freaked out that I'm making all the wrong decisions. In response I tell myself: every not-so-perfect situation that my boys (and I) find ourselves in is a chance to learn something. So when I get worried that maybe Leo is in a place where the kids are a little crazy, I think, well, "he's learning how to deal with crazy kids" (and I'm learning how to deal with him learning how to deal with crazy kids.) When I am overwhelmed with work, I think "Well, I'm learning to get more done in less time," when a babysitter (or mom) puts the kids in front of the TV for too long and I don't like it, I think of it as a chance to analyze why I don't like something and an exercise in voicing an opinion that I feel strongly about. Maybe its all just justification, but hey, it sure beats beating yourself up.
I hope that this new job doesn't cramp your blogging style- keep up all the fabulous writing.
xoxoxolib
Whatever you do/decide, will be just the right thing.
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