I am confident there is room for blogging in my new life, but I might not be as chatty for the next few weeks, as I work out the new balance. So for you few loyal readers who have stuck around despite that long silent stretch - thank you, thank you. I'm still here, just stretched a little thinner.
The babysitter is a student at St. John's and has already become a special person for the kids. Thank goodness, because Frances is having a harder time than I expected, and having a new friend in Kelsey certainly eases her disappointment about my having to go work again. Gabriel the puppy (or cow, or loader, or Big Bad Bunny, depending on the moment) is having an easier transition than I anticipated. He greets me with a big grin when I come home and likes to play a little game called "I came back!" involving running into the other room, then returning to me and happily explaining that he came back! Followed by a hug. Repeat. However he needs to work it all out is fine by me, and this is a rather pleasant way to do it.
So, not too painful, right? But just this morning, Frances and I were listening to a song on the latest Music Together album on the way to the doctor's. It's a cheerful tune, and the lyrics go something like:
who says she's gonna come back, your mommy does that's who.
whoever takes care of you comes back, because they do love you!
You get the idea. A little girl has a solo about how sometimes you feel lonely, or sad, or mad, when you have to say goodbye. But then your mommy and daddy come back! I was fighting back tears for the entirety of this jaunty little number. Frances was silent in the back seat as we drove through dreary gray streets, on the way to get an impetigo diagnosis.
So maybe I'm struggling a bit too. I've been irritable with the children, who after a period of perfect health have this past week developed - between the two of them - a nasty skinned nose, two runny noses, impetigo, a minor skin problem, the usual sleep(less) issues, and a new flare up of sibling rivalry. The usual stuff, really, but it just seems harder to me this particular week.
Oh, and the job? I love it. I just love it.
One last thing to report is how lucky we are to be making this transition during Mike's spring break. And how lucky we were to have a few days of warm sunshine, to get the much expanded new vegetable garden started. Here are some images from the most exciting day, featuring shiny red machinery:
Thankfully there were tools enough to go around. Gabriel now calls any small machine - most recently our Kitchen Aid mixer - a TILLER!!
Don't worry. It's off, I promise.
4 comments:
Welcome back! It's gotten to the point that I actually read some of your blog chestnuts out loud to Tom at dinner, and we discuss (oh so philosophically of course!) some of the challenges they raise. We did this last night in fact.
So here I am settling down to some work, and I'm delighted to see a new entry. Which I of course read out loud to Tom. Who exclaimed "that's Freud's fort/da game!" when I was reading the para. re: G. running back into the room saying "I'm back!" In case you, like me, didn't know the fort/da reference, fort/da (gone/here) refers to the child realizing via the game his own capacity to allow a thing to be gone and then to call it back. The mother is the root of the fort/da game -- i.e., the child saying it's okay to let you go for a while b/c I know I can bring you back. (I'm paraphrasing Tom.) So apparently a good step towards being able to play on one's own.
So two can play that game... I was absent for a week (waiting of course for you!) but now via this posted comment I've come back!
Love the tilling pictures. Didn't it smell good while it was happening? Can't wait to live vicariously through that garden.
love, me.
I love your blog so it's such fun to read this new chapter. Obviously we haven't talked for awhile because I didn't know you are now a working mom. Congratulations. I can picture you kissing and hugging all good-bye and then walking out the front door and sneeking around to the back door and basement. Is that how it goes? I'm just curious.
And just look at your little farm children at work! Little house on the Prairie is going to pay off.
I, too, sat down to do some work but was so happy to read your new entry instead. I know it must be difficult, but I'm so happy that the kids are enjoying their new friend. I love G's game. Finley goes through a variety of emotions when I come home. When I get out of my car, I always see her face in the window, beaming. And then I walk inside, and she grins at me... then immediately starts crying and runs for Brenda. I try not to take it personally; I think it's her dealing with the fact that she loves us both and doesn't want to give up anyone's company. But it always smarts, just a little bit, especially when I've rushed home to be there early. But then we wave goodbye to Brenda through the window and then Finley smiles at me and hugs me and we go have dinner together and everything's okay again. But this struggle, everyday, between work and home is tough! I feel for you, my dear.
I would like to move into your house. We will help till the land.
xoxo
Anna, after one day away Frances told me to go work some more because she wanted to play more with Kelsey. Of course then I was SO relieved, but after awhile that could get a tiny bit hurtful.
But of course we want them to adore their caregivers, right?
The transition must be stressful for them. Going from one mode to the other. I wish Finley and my children could share a nanny and then we could groan about how much more they loved her than us, ha ha ha! (cry cry cry!) And send them out to till the land together, yes, and trample the peas and dig for worms.
xo
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