golden

Here is our boy, nearly four and a half years old, proudly wearing his Ravens jersey and a cluster of heart-shaped temporary tattoos, presiding over everything he carefully assembled that we would need to give each other manicures at our pretend spa. Nail buffer, oil, acorns (obviously), nail file, clippers. Soon he found a bottle of blue nail polish in my bathroom. After I painted his tiny nails, he sat back on the living room floor and quietly admired his chubby hands. He's old enough to file his own nails, and young enough to savor the sparkle of nail polish without fear of disapproval.  

We are in one of those golden moments with Gabriel. Creative expression is at a marvelous fevered pitch, independence and pride in accomplishments inspire the most charming grins, and as always when Gabriel is in a good way, he is heart-stoppingly affectionate. He asks for hugs, he tells us he loves us. At bedtime the other night, as I stood in the open doorway about to leave, he said simply, Mama, I had a good day with you today. I can't wait to have another one tomorrow. 

...Oh my.

I mean, don't get me wrong. There are still tantrums, infuriating fights with his sister, and refusals to put on his inside-out shorts the right way (I like them this way, okay??) before school. But most of the time, most days, he shines.

Competency is the name of this happy game. When a new developmental leap in on the immediate horizon, my kids get seriously grouchy. But once the kid is in midair, or has landed neatly on the other side, happiness and equilibrium return. These past weeks I hear "Mama, look what I can do!" about six times a day, and for the most part it isn't the least bit tedious. I share his delight in being able to construct a paper scabbard for his paper doll knight's sword, and in hopping the entire length of his classroom at pick up time, and in identifying every question mark on the page of a book. It's awesome what this kid can do.

(And I haven't even told you how he mashed the bananas today into a smooth-as-silk puree for banana bread!) 

I've been doing this long enough to know we will keep on cycling through times of struggle and change and times of equilibrium, from disorganization to reorganization and back again. Growing up can be so relentless in that way! Babies sometimes move through these states in a matter of days (keeps you on your toes), but with big kids - every so often - we get to sit back, relax, and savor a moment that goes on and on. Gabriel, your golden glow is a gift. It lights up everyone around you.