Yesterday I was chatting with the checker at Trader Joe's and comparing Thanksgiving notes. We agree that it is the best holiday. We agree that you simply cannot skip the dinner rolls, even though they are completely superfluous, because too many people are attached to them and Thanksgiving is not the time to challenge anyone about food. We agree that the more the merrier, and unexpected or new guests are always excellent additions. In my mind I was remembering Thanksgivings past with friends who were relatively new at the time, but he had a much better example to share.
"Once my partner and I invited a lady we met at the bus stop," he told me with a grin. "She told us her name was Queen Elizabeth, so that's what we called her." He explained how they knew she would have nowhere else to go, and gave her instructions on how to get to their house. To their surprise she showed up on time, and apparently proceeded to get outrageously drunk. I made a little quip about how I guessed Queen Elizabeth can do whatever she damn well pleases, and he laughed. We wished each other a happy Thanksgiving and the kids and I were on our way, navigating the loaded cart through the crowded parking lot, my mind already on how to unload groceries, exercise and shower in the 45 minutes I had before it was time to leave for early dinner with some new friends that evening.
But my mind kept returning to Queen Elizabeth. My little joke downplayed how extraordinary his story was. Talk about radical hospitality! Would I invite a crazy lady at the bus stop to our Thanksgiving dinner? No, I would not. But thank God for people who do, with grace and humility and humor, so that they can teach the rest of us.
I am noticing these sorts of kindnesses everywhere these days. Lynann sent me that picture from Halloween, just because. Danielle brought us a bag of sweet potatoes from her garden. When Gabriel suffered a freak neck injury this past week and I was in a quandary, unable to leave his side but due to attend the Marco Polo Expo - a much-anticipated culmination of the second grade's hard work and creative efforts - I frantically texted two friends at 7 am who drop their kids off at a school near our house. Could one of them please come over and stay with Gabriel while I went to the last half of the Expo?
They both came over. I rushed off to Frances's school and was greeted by a buzzing room full of kids and parents. When my daughter saw me she raced to the door with her big brown eyes aglow and explained breathlessly that Delanie's mom and Maggie's parents had been listening to the story she wrote, and she got to show them her Mongol-inspired felt ger, and now I was finally there and she could show me! The parents in question grinned at me, appreciative of her enthusiasm, and I could not stop the tears from stinging in my eyes. I missed so much of it. So many big-hearted adults had stepped in. Frances was so happy I was there. During Marco Polo Jeopardy (kids vs. parents) she climbed into my lap and insistently volunteered me over and over - I eventually answered Travel for 200 points - though of course the kid team won, by a gazillion points. They were just awesome.
When I came back, my house was filled with the sounds and harmonious energies of two chatting moms, a newborn, a three year old, a two year old, and Gabriel, who was gingerly sitting up for the first time in over 24 hours, playing with his younger friends. What a happy scene! What a joy to see my boy feeling better, surrounded by people he cares about and who care about him!
What would we do without the countless kindnesses that surround and support us, making the work of being a family so much lighter? This Thanksgiving I am grateful for the generosity of strangers, friends, and family; for so many who show me by their quiet example how much sweeter life is when you are willing to give of yourself.
And you? Where does your gratitude flow this year?
1 comment:
I'm so happy to know you!
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