off the charts

A day or two before I started my new job, a tiny plastic envelope filled with powdery white grains arrived in our mailbox. I had ordered kefir grains the week before. When one is on the cusp of major life transitions, everyone knows that a jar of fermenting dairy resting on the kitchen counter is a must.

Well, maybe. I think it says a lot about me that I decided to take on a mildly smelly and delicate fermenting process just before the baby started with a child care provider, the boy started kindergarten, and I started working four days a week. Dear World, could I please control one little slippery thing? One little thing that will make terrific after-school smoothies and promises to fill our bellies with microscopic, smelly (did I already mention smelly?) health-promoting bugs? Because back in August when the grains arrived and all of these changes were fast-approaching - and the baby was cutting four teeth at once and began waking every two hours at night - my body forgot how to fall asleep.

That is exactly how it seemed to me. With few exceptions, I had been doing something every night for thirty-six years in a row without having reason to notice or think about how exactly I accomplished it. I just did it. And then I forgot. I was underslept and overwhelmed, and sleep eluded me.

The worst of the insomnia really only lasted for a few nights; once we all began our new endeavors it subsided. But dudes, it totally freaked me out. It was a powerful sign that taking care of myself (as I join with students during the day to, ahem, help them learn positive ways to take care of themselves) will be essential this year.

So what do I do to promote peace within? Make kefir. Revisit cookbooks. Think about new twists on breakfast. There is something so reassuring to me about the mere possibility of making a terrific meal and sharing it with the people I love. Just thinking about cooking lately brings me back to earth, back to my body, back to the comforts of nourishing myself and others. Feeding and eating. Breastfeeding too! The pleasures of this overflowing life.

It's why I sent a favorite cookbook to a friend expecting a baby this fall. Transitions, you say? Read this! Cook something new! Feed yourself and your growing babe and surely all will be well. It's why I take extra pleasure in offering Beatrice new foods. The pears this morning? Not so much. But she went wild for pureed quinoa, and it made my heart sing watching her grab for the spoon. At her six month check up this week, I learned she is off the charts for length. She is growing like a weed in sunny September! And every Monday I get to be home, all by myself, with this sweet dandelion. This past Monday I made granola, did a little laundry, did a little yoga, and spent a lot of time rubbing my nose into her soft belly and making her laugh. Talk about off the charts.

p.s. So, um, did any of you notice how this was really a look-how-cute-my-kid is kind of thing, disguised as a proper post? I warned you...

p.p.s. If anyone has experience making kefir, let's talk. Really. Why does it separate so quickly into curds and whey? Why do I keep missing that thickened, yogurty sweet spot?