An hour or two after I called the pediatrician to finally ask about Beatrice's blocked tear duct, her eye miraculously cleared and I haven't had to wipe away any gooeyness since. And after I told you yesterday about the ravages of life with a newborn, I had a beautiful afternoon with my three children. (I'm not suggesting that the worst is over; just that things were so much brighter the next day!)
Since Frances is still on spring break, I decided to take them to our new favorite place for sweet warm drinks on this blustery, cold April day. We brought our deck of Uno cards and unlike many of our Uno games, nary a one of the three rounds we played ended in tears. Beatrice slept in the Moby wrap, then woke, nursed, needed a change, and sat on my lap and watched the action - and somehow I tended to all these needs relatively peacefully while keeping up my end of the game. (At this point, I'm used to doing things one-handed, and the kids are used to waiting.)
Then we had a totally fun, totally ridiculous walk around Eastport and over the bridge (the wind whipping Frances's hair while she danced ahead crazily shivering and singing, Gabriel laughing at her, me doing my best not to cramp her style with reminders to not get too far ahead of us). We played Red Light Green Light and noted cool dogs and brilliant purple pansies fluttering in the wind.
Gabriel had his first soccer practice tonight. It was so cold and he was exhausted at the end. Soon after we got home it was time to read stories and get ready for bed. I helped him brush his teeth and tuck him in, and he told me that all day at school he was thinking about how a few days ago I taught him to waltz in the hallway and hummed that song from Sleeping Beauty. "That's a really good song," he said. "It's so catchy. Can we do that again?" I almost cried with gratitude. That had been a precious sweet goofy moment in a hard afternoon and I had been thinking about it since too.
Here's to all the points of connection and intimacy that carry us through. Night night, everyone.
4 comments:
Oh, I can read your posts and go right back to those moments from my own life, now two years ago! ( though I can't believe it's even possible. ) I used to have to remind myself -baby steps in baby times. Keep it simple. Breathe.
You are amazing. Just know that all is well, really, truly. You will keep finding your way and it will get better and sweeter all the time! And yes, before you know it you will be looking at those teeny pajamas and there will be three laughing, whirling, buddies trouncing through the house, like it has always been that way.
Love to you all and sure hope we connect before too long. We look so forward to meeting Beatrice!
Gabriel - and you - so often bring tears to my eyes. Actually I'll include Frances in that mix, too.
And, by the way, I just love that sweater coat on Frances. And to think it's only 30 years old!
Yes, time flies.......and then you're a gramma!
I miss you, Meagan. I love you dearly and am thankful that you're my sister. Very very thankful.
sending you all lots of love! oxoxoxoxox
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